209: The Blue Mountains and Lilianfels Resort and Spa, Australia, the 1000 places to see before you die book

"Even better in the wet" promised the marketing blurb for the rainforests of the Blue Mountains in Australia. They didn't mention the cold though did they? To be fair, I hadnt factored in that a mountain range would be significantly colder than it was in Sydney- even though it was only a mere 1 hour drive away to the coast.


The settlers obviously named this mountain range after the blue balls they got trying to cross it.

It was freezing. It was wet. I had the flu. An 18 month baby on my hip. And it was a miserable, bone knawing 4 degrees with snow predicted. A 5 degrees with a 15mph wind curling into the damp of the rainforest before twisting its way "right back in ya face" as one tourist remarked to me upon check in at Lilianfels.

I had to laugh that my sister had advised to bring my bathers. The outdoor pool was barely visible through the thick fingers of fog that grasped the sodden branches of the paperback and lillipilli trees. The sun vainly tried to jostle for greater exposure but the storm clouds threw their squat oppressive weight around and bulleyed their way back to a dominant position. 

My niece Evelyn in happier moments in the room

So much for a meander through the bush this weekend I thought checking in to a room which came straight out of Country and Garden. Pink and white ole English bird wallpaper, some faux- french bed drapes arrangement falling off a wooden semi circle screwed in the wall above the pillow, reproductions of John Gould's drawings of wildlife of Australia gracing the walls, a stuffed kookaburra on the bed that when squeezed hard laughed for a bit and a decent enough bath which sadly was now housing a toddler who had thrown up on the way there.

I decided to venture further afield...well...in the hotel that is, as clearly with the weather outside  I would need a fortifying G&T at the bar first. I discovered a pleasant enough reading room, a room housing a full billiard table, an indoor pool (hurrah) and a spa replete with sauna and steam room (double hurrah).

The bar wasnt conducive to long chats with strangers but the restaurant cum sitting room area with big squashy sofas and two fires at either end took the chill off the interior decor of the bedroom.

 Still...there were two things that needed to be reviewed in order to tick off one more entry in the 1000 places to see before you die book.  And to do that...I had to venture outside.

Rugged up, the first stop was the cablecar down to the bottom of the mountains- replete with a boon for vertigo sufferers like myself- a glass floor

But the bottom was quite amazing. Trees rising for miles, the sounds of kookaburras in the distance, the call of birds rising out of the tree ferns and the towering mountain range as its backdrop.

After that a hair-raising ride back up to the top on the world's steepest railway. Katoomba used to have a coal mine and the railway was used to transport people up and down. Nowadays the mine has shut and a new railway put in for the tourists.

Railway through a tunnel in the rock

The original railway

 After that another cablecar back to the other side and over the waterfalls.

So....to dog ear the page from the 1000 places to see before you die or rip it out? Well we were undecided about this- it is a rainforest and it is a stunning mountain range. However, I think Tasmania (probably, I might add as like most Australians Ive never been there) has as stunning ranges albeit without a rainforest...and Lilianfels despite its historic nature is a nice hotel but one can die without being worried they've never stayed there.

So on balance...its a rip out

207: The Shelbourne Hotel, Dublin

Built in 1824, the Shelbourne is perhaps the most recognised hotel in Dublin. At least- that is what every Irishman that I met said to me when i decided to do some fact finding as to why my taxi driver drove me 15 minutes out of the city centre before stopping..... lost.... asking another taxi man for help, then promptly turning back, driving for 15 minutes and dropping me back at the other end of the street that he picked me up on.

London Black Cab service this certainly wasnt!! Very odd said everyone else- given that every famous person and famous meeting ever held in Dublin apparently has been through the doors of this hotel.

As you can see from the photo- its all top hats, 5 star luxury, phenomenal afternoon teas and plush carpets. Exactly what you'd expect from a Renaissance hotel.

  We took a wee lap of the bar where we settled in between the suits and the advertising crowd and watched the passing parade on the street outside

and then just in case you wondered if id turned into a glamorous long haired blonde......a photo was taken of me blending into the suits.... 

Should it be in the book??.....sadly like a lot of hotels in the 1000 places to see before you die book, I am getting a strong suspicion that they tried to find say 4 places in each capital city that were worthwhile to go to....rather than only putting in those places that truly were worthy inclusions in the book. 

This one Im afraid gets a thumbs down. I think its not a 1000 places to see before you die entrant.

190: Intercontinental Hotel, Hong Kong

Well, oddly enough as Ive slammed other 5 star hotels in the book, I could see how this one made its entrance.

The views at the Intercontinental Hotel were magnificent, easily the best place to go and view the falling nightlights of Hong Kong and Victoria Harbour.

The best is watching not only the tower block lights come on- but also the light show from a number of the towers. Add some absolutely divine martinis.....and array of lovely nibblies..and its the perfect place to settle in for a night in a bar.

I wont go into the rest of it of the hotel (albeit their website lists some 495 rooms with BOSE DVD/CD home entertainment sound systems, iPod docking station, 24-hour butler service and in-room dining as well as concierge services- all pretty standard nowadays for 5 star hotels)…nor did I have the time to sample the restaurants by Nobu or Alain Ducasse.
This hotel is in here for its lobby lounge with its views.

Interestingly , when in China a few weeks later, I read about the opening in March 2011 of the world’s tallest hotel, the Ritz Carlton in Hong Kong.

Now it will be interesting to go back and see the view from there- the Intercontinental is ground level with the beauty of huge seamless glass windows stretching up what appears to be a good 30 odd metres high giving you an unparalleled…but ground view of the lights over the harbour. The Ritz on the other hand is at some 1600 feet high in the International Commerce Centre, the fourth highest building in the world, and thus looks down at the lights. Not one for those prone to vertigo Id suggest!!

Copacabana Palace Hotel, Rio: Number 185 from the 1000 place to see before you die

This, I fear, is going to be an easy review. I might have been slightly jaded as they had decided to close Copacabana Palace Hotel for the weekend for outside guests due to Carneval so I was turned away when first I arrived in the afternoon (nice sunny shot below)……so I had to make do with a photo outside the hotel only.

However, far be for me to admit defeat, I then called Quintessentially to see if they could work some swift magic………job done I had my dinner (that’s the next blog…) and took my meat laden stomach over to the hotel……but the concierge was all blank faces so off I went again cajoling my way in….all the way to the top general manager (you’d really think they had better things to do than be bothered with one discretionary entrance into their bar by a tourist for a martini).

Twenty mins later, after quite a few “why bother” moments in my head, I finally gained entrance into the inner sanctum, feeling like I had done ten rounds with Mike Tyson, and definitely needing a stiff martini!!!

As it was only about 10pm and therefore way too early to go to their in-house disco- I contented myself with sitting in the outdoor bar at the pool. It was a lovely pool- not sure about the double rows of loungers lined up like the Riviera…but given that it was cloistered in the centre of the building I guess space is a premium.

Their website says

“Superbly positioned overlooking the sea, this glamorous Orient-Express landmark in Rio has been welcoming the rich and famous since its Art Deco doors swung open in 1923. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers danced here and the Rolling Stones tuned up in its grand salon before their concert on the beach.
 
The magnificent pool, with its adjacent super-cool Bar do Copa, are where Brazil’s style setters gather to soak up the sun. The hotel’s restaurants are also destinations in themselves, whether for great local dishes or fine Italian dining in Hotel Cipriani Restaurant. “

I didn’t get to see inside a room (felt that Id pushed my luck as it was) so could only judge it on the restaurant, bar, pool and lobby………………………………………….I have to say- the hotel is perhaps iconic (or is it just that the name is known because of the beach its on)….and on that subject of THAT beach….how is it that Barry Manilo’s lyrics go

“At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana (Copacabana)
The hottest spot north of Havana (here)
At the Copa (CO!), Copacabana
Music and passion were always the fashion
At the Copa....they fell in love”

Since when is Rio north of Havana? Interesting. Perhaps his hot Copa spot is not here in Rio.

Anyhow- back to the Copacabana Palace Hotel- it is just another 5 star hotel and I don’t really think, given how many there are of those in the world, that it should be included unless it provides something really superlative (Burj Al Arab  would be one that fits in that vein for instance).

So………………..I don’t think it should be in the 1000 places to see before you die

Sun City, Johannesburg: Number 180 of the 1000 Places to See Before You Die

It was a slightly refreshed body that clambered into my friend's car to head out to Sun City for the weekend, keen to discover another of the 1000 Places. The gutteral tones of the Afrikaans accent filled the car as we headed out of town and I got an update of the improvements in Johannesburg as a result of the FIFA World Cup- largely roads and stadiums!! Still, even after all these improvements, being Joburg, the estimates of the time it would take to get to Sun City varied from 1 to 2.5 hours.

As it was, we had the misfortune to choose a highway congested with cars, three traffic accidents as well as workers installing the new toll gates - all with a rather complicated charging system depending on the time of day, whether the car has an electronic number plate and the number of times you use that road. Roughly translating at about £5 for the short...and very common drive of Sandton to Pretoria...it would create hell when up and running as people duck and wove to use side roads as their entrance points into town.
Joburg already had a non-existent public transport system, too many people living on the edges who came in to the city to work and therefore needed to have a car, a poor road design system that even with the addition of more offshoot roads and the widening of the highway would still result in pretty much permanent gridlock and now... a road tax.

Anyhow, up we trundled to the North West Province to tick another one in the 1000 Places book. From all I'd heard about Sun City over the years I have to admit that this was one place I was not looking forward to seeing. The words garish sprung to mind as soon as I thought of the place.

Sun City was the brainchild of Sol Kerzner- a South African who is now perhaps more globally famous for being the owner of the One & Only resorts and being the developer of the Atlantis Resort in Dubai, a $1.5 billion, 1,500-room, water-themed resort which opened in late 2008 on The Palm Jumeirah.

However in an apartheid South Africa in 1979 when gambling was illegal he devised the concept of Sun City and over a period of ten years built the most ambitious resort project seen to date in South Africa- four hotels, a man-made lake, two Gary Player golf courses and an entertainment center with an indoor 6,000-seat multi-purpose arena which hosted concerts and was the venue of many World Title fights. A little slice of Disney fantasy world in the middle of one of the richest mining belts in the world.

Anyhow, we arrived......

Now, it could have been the plethora of plebs (im unsure what you call a group of plebians but that sounds good!) jumping on the dinky toy train to take them back down to the car park while we had travelled in the opposite direction- all sunburnt, bare feet, slightly inebriated, carrying towels with strong Afrikaans accents jostling over each other after a raucous day in the complex that made me just not want to go inside.

It might have been that with the traffic we didnt get there until 5pm, despite leaving at 1pm, and were starving and that the restaurants had stopped serving food at 4pm so the only choices was fast food- Indian Halal, Hot Dogs or Steers Burgers (we went for Steers).

It could have been that we had to eat while sitting in some gigantically ghastly setting, replete with faux baobab tree and a painted jungle complete with every species including flamingos sitting near lion's heads (see below) while watching desperate gamblers light up in the Smoking Casino and sink pennies into slot machines.

It might have been on the mad dash to the Valley of the Waves to take some photos we had to jostle pass hundreds of grumpy parents and tired children all heading in the opposite direction, while a cacophony of noise blasted our eardrums as all these side alley horrors like shooting ducks, grabbing stuffed toys with steel pincers, throwing darts and disco dancing lined up every side and at times in the middle of the route into the Valley. Each run by young teenagers who just had that whiff of desperation that one hour till closing time on the key ride in their section will bring.

Or perhaps it was on finally entering the "Bridge of Time" (presumably time backwards as the Valley of Waves was set in some faux Inca style) replete with its many elephants, passing through the Monkey Spring Plaza (a multitude of crouching monkeys sitting on top of a fountain) and rounding the bend to gaze upon...Macchu Picchu fully cleared? Babylon? Some place in Africa that has been lost to a jungle?

 

The designers had certainly gone to town at the Valley of the Waves with their foam blocks and concrete on this one (ah yes- that week long concrete decorating class I did in Phoenix Arizona finally paid off and I now know how Disneyland and other theme parks have been built). From the Temple of Courage one could do an 17m water slide. There was a Lazy River to float around with an Adventure Mountain in the middle. The wave pool (okay I photographed it when it had closed!) was flanked by a sandy beach complete with Royal Baths and the Mamba and Viper tube slides.

Even now, having had to wait 24 hours before I wrote this blog on Sun City as I can still feel the distaste bubbling in me, I can just picture the entire Valley of Waves heaving with squealing all-the-colours-of-the-rainbow children, bloated mothers eating ice-creams on the side while dads reclaimed their lost youth catching simulated waves, hotdogs and tomato sauce smeared all over the loungers, pop music blaring over the speakers, the rush of bodies slipping down the water slides, the slap of rubber as tubes collided.

Closing time I have decided is the only time one should go to the Valley of Waves.

Back to the non welcoming Welcome Centre where we decided, just for the sake of the 1000 places to see before you die book as it promised to do my head utterly in, we would stay overnight in the complex and drive back in the morning. Realising, from the pleb plethora we had encountered on their way out, that the casino- the entire reason why this complex was built in the first place- was going to be more like Hooters Casino in Vegas than the Bellagio, we felt perfectly comfortable settling in for a night of blackjack while wearing shorts and flip flops.

Alas, perhaps the final straw was when they couldnt book us a room in one of the 4 hotels in the complex but could only give us a central reservations number....which answered with a recorded message "We close at 4pm. Thank you for your call" before disconnecting me.

Or perhaps it might have been when I enquired to the man behind the welcome counter as to the possibility of seeing the Palace of the Lost City Hotel (had to see who in their right mind would pay US$300 a night to overlook the ghastly Valley of Waves), I was told that access was only on one of the 5 tours, all of which had.....you guessed it....finished.

Or perhaps the camel's back was broken when I politely enquired as to what suggestions he could give me to do at 6pm in Sun City and he suggested a walk in the garden. It was raining.

Anyhow, click here if you want to see pictures of the Palace of the Lost City Hotel and are seriously mad enough to contemplate even driving to this little slice of hell in the sticks. This place does not deserve a spot in the 1000 Places book...and sadly no locals could think of a replacement Joburg entry.

I meanwhile, having reclaimed my weekend, am off to Sandton for some shopping and massage before heading off to Brazil for Carnevale. Far better use of my time!!

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Number 175 - The American Colony Hotel, Jerusalem

Number 174 - The King David Hotel, Israel

Not much to say about this place really. Its the top hotel in Jerusaleum, presidents stay there, it has lovely gardens, not bad cocktails, and is just another 5 star hotel in the world charging north of US$550 a night.

Doesnt deserve a place in the 1000 places to see before you die.

There you have it

Number 169 - Arizona Biltmore Resort & Spa

The Arizona Biltmore Resort & Spa is the only surviving hotel in the world in whose design Frank Lloyd Wright participated. It's also one of Americas oldest resort hotels - it opened in 1929.

Place 163 - The City & Lake Palace, Udaipur, Rajastan

It was day 5 in India with 5 more days to go. I have to confess I was counting each one down- desperate to get out. Each day seemed a little bit harder to force myself out of the hotel, on to the streets, into a tuk tuk, to the airport or to a sight. Id already done 4 internal flights and one overnight train journey in the quest to see something of the country, desperate to find one thing that made me say upon my return home "I just loved India" but my weary body was just screaming "halt" and my brain was telling me just to give up.

Each place I went to had only brought temporary respite- perhaps a pool in the hotel, or a great reading corner, or a scented garden to walk amongst.......but the fact remained that sooner or later you needed to leave to go outside and face all the noise, the people, the rubbish, the beggers....... and those bloody cows.

And so it was flicking through the book 1000 places to see before you die I made a change in route and flew down to Udaipur to stay in a palace in the middle of a lake. Oh yes- definately no cows or beggers or tuk tuks or people or rubbish in the middle of Lake Pichola I thought.

A short plane flight later (after narrowly almost managing to my flight as the word "e-ticket" doesnt exist in India and you need to carry a printout of your ticket before you are even allowed entry into the airport terminal) I landed in Udaipur. From the moment I was greeted in the airport by a peaked hat chauffeur offering me an ice cold cloth and a bottle of water, I thought to myself that I might have found the place worth returning to.

And that was before we stepped outside and he settled me into a phantom rolls royce the palace had sent. We nimbly skirted the main drag of town and pulled in at a reception area on the banks of Lake Pichola. My luggage was removed, I was given a check in form, a glass of champagne and another cold cloth and informed that my boat was ready and waiting. Boat???

They werent joking. Replete with flags and standard, a boat was sitting on the shore ready to take me to the hotel which was, quite literally, in the middle of the lake with no access to the mainland. At this stage you can just see me hopping up and down in excitement. My grin was a mile long- about as long as the island was off the shore!

This might actually be worthy of being the top 1 in the 1000 places to see before you die.

Lake Palace, or Jag Niwas to be correct, was built in 1743 and was the Maharana of Udaipur's summer residence. Like most maharajas when Indira Gandhi decided in 1971 to remove their annual stipend, they were forced to find someway to pay for their extremely extravagent lifestyle. As a result, the palace is now leased out as a luxury hotel. Completely obliterating the 16,000 m^{2 rock on which it stands, the palace is a blancmange of some 80 odd marbled rooms, inacessible unless you are staying there or coming for dinner, with fountains, columns, courtyards, gardens and pool. Regularly voted as the most romantic hotel in India, this is a place where I could easily have stayed a month and never left.}

^{As it was, despite them offering all sorts of trips during the day, I begged them never to send me off the island until the day of my flight.}



Lake Palace



I arrived at the island to be greeted a hostess who walked me along the marble jetty into the palace. From high above, giggling girls threw red rose petals over me which wafted down on the breeze, slowly settling at my feet, their gentle perfume released as I crushed them underfoot. An exquisitely dressed sari clad girl gave me the traditional Indian namaste giving, a red dot on my forehead, before I was taken to my suite.

Now, most fab places you are looking out into a non ending expanse of water. The beauty of the palace was it being on the water, looking back onto the land some distance away......oh, and being India,- the silence. Its amazing how you can overlook the necessity that the soul has for tranquility and solitude. I could feel my batteries recharging with every step that I took deeper into the cool confines of the palace.

The view from my window in Lake Palace was actually that of the City Palace. Now the City Palace actually looks rather impressive- a fusion of Rajasthani and Mughal architectural styles-but in fact it is built on top of a hill and they clad the hill in the same bricks used to build the palace so that it appears more formidable. It was in itself pretty and some photos are below......but incomparable to the beauty of the Lake Palace...both of which incidentally featured in James Bond's Octopussy movie.



city palace



There is no need to do a blow by blow account of my 4 days in the palace. Maharini service throughout- from the workers who scuttled backwards into doors or around corners so you didnt see them when you walked by, to surprising the staff cleaning my room- all 4 of them with a 5th ticking things off a checklist, to the bag of spices and the recipe of a dish I had complimented the staff on which the chef brought to me at the end of a memorable dinner, to the maitre d' who on my second day had the sublime homemade yoghurt with pomegranate seeds already waiting for me at my breakfast table after I had eaten 3 the previous day, to the manager who upon hearing I needed to work installed a printer in my room while I was swimming laps in the pool, to the butler who at 7pm every night drew my water and prepared a swirling arrangement of marigold, rose petals and essential oils complete with candle light for me.



inner courtyard of lake palace



But the highlight, if that was not enough, was having a few hours of pure pampering luxury. Literally the royal yacht had been converted into a mobile spa. Whisked away from the palace by boat, I was deposited at this beautiful teak sailing vessel, flags a fluttering, moored in the lake. Gently swaying on the calm blue waters I was invited to sip a health tonic and take a dip in the outdoor hot tub. Suitably relaxed I then entered the yacht where I was guided into a steam room to relax my muscles further. There is something quite surreal about being in a steam room on a boat- surrounded by water- in more ways than one. There was the gentle dripping sounds inside the boat which would normally have a skipper tearing up planks to find the leak while outside the water slapped against the sides of the barge.

Walking back into the main salon I then lay on a massage table and was treated to a heavenly one hour massage. A bit of hand and feet tidying up afterwards and a lie down on the top deck and a few hours later I reboarded the shuttle to return to the palace.



This is soooo the life! On the spa barge



It was hard not to fall into this lifestyle and think it will never end and it is so far, my Number 1 spot in the 1000 places to see before you die. But, like the video giving a history of the Maharaji that played in my suite, it was, as the Maharini said "Jag Niwas was our summer home, rather than a palace. That was our life. And it is no more. And that's it. Nothing more to add really."



Night view





The heavenly pool




Ceremonial royal barge